me: «but I can’t go. I can’t travel right now. I can’t leave the autumn and I can’t imagine not having an anxiety attack at the airport. I’m not safe with you yet, I actually don’t know you that well. I feel unsure in big crowds of people, not with my friends, or with work, but probably with you. I need time”

he looks at me. stares at me.

him: “you know it’s not me you feel unsafe about right? it’s you Anniken”

I started to cry.